You’ve tried everything. You’ve bargained, you’ve bribed, you’ve even blackmailed your partner to quit smoking. You’ve yelled, you’ve cried, and no matter what you do, you can still smell the faint smell of cigarettes on them when they’ve been out.
When you love someone who is a habitual smoker, it can be very difficult. You want them to be healthier, you may even NEED them to be healthier, but it seems that no matter what you do, you cannot make them quit.
Unfortunately, you’re not alone. And, you’re also in quite a situation. It’s next to impossible to get someone to quit smoking if they do not want to. And all of your efforts to get them to quit often fall on deaf ears, or worse, cause them to feel resentment towards you.
Yes, smoking can ruin your relationship. So, what is a concerned person to do? How do you help your partner quit smoking?
It’s not about you
It is important to realize that the anger they’re expressing is not about you. Likely, they’re angry that they’re dealing with a problem that has plagued them for years. They’re mad at you for noticing, mad that you’re bringing it to the light for a solution, and mad at themselves for not being able to solve the problem on their own.
Remember, it isn’t about you. When cigarettes get in the way of an otherwise healthy relationship, keep your perspective. Remember why you’re with your partner, and do what you can to not make it about you.
See your partner healed
Often, we look critically at our partners and their imperfections. Sometimes we might even criticize another when we’re not looking at our own imperfections and working on them. Our heightened emotions, however, often have the effect of making the situation worse.
When we know how our minds work, we can focus on solutions. We can start seeing our partners as healing from their challenges, and we end up being more supportive. By not berating our smoking partners and by supporting and encouraging them, we can often create an environment where our partners want to change, not for us, but for themselves.
By focusing on solving our own imperfections, we can inspire our partners to work on their own. Your own behavior can influence your partner to choose to do better themselves.
A reason to do it
Whenever we’re trying to change a habit or behavior, we all need a reason. For some of us, it’s our children. We don’t want to be a bad influence, or we don’t want our kids to be affected by secondhand smoke. For others, it is a health scare. And sometimes, we just get tired of the expense, the smell, the incessant coughing.
Once the reason to quit smoking becomes stronger than the reason to smoke, there’s not much else to say. The smoker will eventually want to quit because they have a very strong, overpowering reason to do so.
In those cases, hypnosis will give them an even stronger capability to quit. It makes the reasons to smoke dissipate and it gives the reasons to be a non-smoker a priority over the cravings and habits.
Honesty without Nagging
Once, a wife wanted her husband to quit. He eventually said he did quit, but she’d often smell cigarette smoke on him. She didn’t nag him, but mentioned that she could smell it, just once.
Smokers sometimes think that they are protected by hiding their habit. They don’t realize that others know, and the scent of a cigarette is overpowering to a nonsmoker. By bringing the habit out in the open in a way that is not threatening to your partner, you can express compassion and concern, and you can also talk more openly with your partner about their habit.
It’s obvious to you that they have a problem, and they know it. Being able to talk openly without defensiveness or resentment provides the best way to use the conflict as a way to grow in the relationship while providing opportunities for the smoker to make the all-important decision to quit.
If you want to get someone to stop smoking, the best way to help is, gently and at the right time, present options for them. You do the research, discover the success rates of each option, then present the options with their success rates and the cost of treatment and let them mull it all over.
Hypnosis is by far the easiest, most cost effective way to quit smoking, for good. With a 95% efficacy rate, Dr. Newell can help your partner make the decision to quit and move beyond habits and cravings.
When your partner is ready, get in touch and become a nonsmoker in only one hour. A free consultation has no strings attached, and ensures your partner is ready and able to quit.
Contact us to get started today.